Golfisms – A Comprehensive List

danger-golf-signWe’ve all used them at one time or another to describe a golf shot, situation or event. Golfisms are sometimes raunchy and tasteless, but they usually bring a little humor to the game that we all can use, especially after hitting one of the unfortunate shots that precede them. We’ve scoured the internet, asked our Facebook and Twitter followers and been to golf course 19th holes around the nation in an effort to compile the most comprehensive list of golfisms we could find. Here’s what we came up with. WARNING: Many of these jokes are not politically correct! You’ve been warned.

Popular Golfisms

  • Jimmy Hoffa – A ball so far offline that it will never be seen again.
  • Jack Kevorkian – Going for an impossible shot: “That shot is suicide!”
  • Joe Lieberman – Having a partner that doesn’t help much.
  • Lorena Bobbit – A nasty slice.
  • Marv Albert – An approach shot that has a lot of bite.
  • Pete Rose – When someone lies about their score, you know they are lying, and they know you know they are lying.
  • Walmart – “Those two drives are so far apart they’re building a Walmart between them.”
  • Lloyd Bridges – Drove it into the water.
  • Linda Ronstadt – “Nice drive, but I just blew by you!” (Blue Bayou)
  • Princess Diana – Shouldn’t have used a driver.
  • Saddam Hussein – When you hit a shot that goes from bunker to bunker.
  • Cuban – A putt left short. “It needed one more revolution.”
  • Sonny Bono – A shot that goes straight into the trees.
  • Thurman Munson – A pulled shot. “That’s a dead yank…”
  • Otis – (As in, Otis Elevators) Getting “up and down” for a par.
  • OJ Simpson – “It wasn’t a great shot, but I got away with it.”
  • Rock Hudson – A putt that looks straight, but isn’t.
  • Yasser Arafat – A shot that is ugly and in the sand.
  • Danny Devito – A shot that is short and fat.
  • Paris Hilton – Losing a large bet. “That was an expensive hole.”
  • Glenn Miller or John Kennedy Jr. – A shot that didn’t make it over the water.
  • Adolf Hitler – A shot that doesn’t make it out of the bunker, or two shots in a bunker.
  • Oral Roberts – A little heeler (healer).
  • Rodney King – When you hit the ball over the green. You “over-clubbed”.
  • Bin Laden – A shot so far offline it will be very tough to find.
  • Rush Limbaugh – A shot that goes foo far to the right.
  • Nancy Pelosi – A shot that goes to far to the left.
  • Hockey Stick – When you make a 7 on a hole.
  • Bud Light – When your shot ends up “close to water.”
  • Bo Derek – Hitting a perfect shot, or can be when you make a 10.
  • Fabio – “F*@$ing awful, but it’s OK.”
  • Barbara Streisand – A shot that isn’t pretty, but it still works.
  • Captain Kirk – A shot that goes where no man has gone before.
  • Crop Duster – A shot hit head high.
  • Direct Deposit – A full shot or chip that goes in the hole.

I know there are some other good ones out there, so please leave us a note and add to the list!

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