Against the Grain: March 04, 2026
⛳ Tom Kim Hit a HOLE-IN-ONE to Win TGL’s Final Regular Season Match
Tom Kim ACED the final hole to send Jupiter Links to the TGL playoffs in what Tiger Woods called “the most incredible finish” (yes, really). The shot happened at 11:30 PM on a Tuesday because that’s when golf happens now apparently.
We’re out here celebrating simulator golf like it’s the Masters and honestly?? Tom Kim just made TGL watchable for exactly 30 seconds!! The bar is underground but bestie cleared it with ROOM TO SPARE. (source)
✈️ Eight LIV Golfers Got STRANDED in Middle East, Needed Private Jet Rescue
EIGHT LIV golfers were stuck in the Middle East and had to get emergency private jet transportation to make it to Hong Kong for this week’s tournament. Because of course the league that throws infinite Saudi money around somehow can’t handle basic travel logistics??
Nothing says “legitimate professional tour” like your players getting stranded like they’re in a disaster movie!! Very normal operational stuff happening over at LIV headquarters (shocking absolutely no one). (source)
🏎️ McLaren Is Apparently Making GOLF CLUBS Now
The supercar company that makes $300K vehicles is now entering the golf equipment space because why wouldn’t they?? McLaren is “revving up” to join TaylorMade, Callaway, and Ping in the great battle for your golf dollars.
Can’t wait to pay $2,000 for a driver that goes 0-60 in 3.2 seconds on the driving range!! It’s giving “we have too much money and not enough ideas” energy and I’m honestly here for the chaos. (source)
🤖 Robot Mowers Are Taking Over Golf Courses
Golf courses are replacing human groundskeepers with AUTONOMOUS ROBOT MOWERS that work 24/7 without breaks, benefits, or complaints about the weather. The robots apparently do a better job and cost less money (checks notes).
We’re literally watching golf courses become sci-fi movies while we’re still arguing about whether 6-inch rough is too penal!! The robots are coming for everyone’s jobs but at least the fairways will be perfectly striped. This is fine. Everything is fine. 🙃 (source)
💰 Jon Rahm Refuses to Pay DP World Tour Fines, Ryder Cup Dreams in SHAMBLES
Jon Rahm declined the DP World Tour’s “olive branch” settlement offer and is now facing a potential RYDER CUP BAN for his unpaid fines from jumping to LIV. The man made $400 MILLION from the Saudis but won’t pay a few thousand in tour fines.
Bestie really said “I’ll take the generational wealth but NOT the consequences” and is about to miss out on Europe’s biggest golf event!! It’s giving main character syndrome meets terrible financial priorities. (source)
🔧 Nico Echavarria Won by Switching GOLF BALLS
Nico Echavarria captured his THIRD PGA Tour victory after making “a big change with his golf ball” ahead of the Cognizant Classic. Because apparently the most important equipment decision is the thing that costs $4 per sleeve at Dick’s.
We spend thousands on drivers and putters but the real secret was switching from Titleist to Srixon the whole time?? Golf equipment companies in SHAMBLES knowing their $600 drivers got upstaged by a $48 dozen of golf balls!! (source)
Until next week when TGL probably gets cancelled and the robots take over Augusta (if the golf gods allow it) ⛳🤖